Search found 16 matches

by brian55dolphin
Mon Sep 21, 2015 1:30 am
Forum: Cinquain Train
Topic: A deluge ( Cinquain #1)
Replies: 0
Views: 1314

A deluge ( Cinquain #1)

rain
swelling stream
unrelenting down pour
fast moving water, overpowering
fluid
by brian55dolphin
Sun Sep 20, 2015 4:04 am
Forum: Cinquain Train
Topic: Haunting (Cinquain pattern #3)
Replies: 3
Views: 1217

Re: Haunting (Cinquain pattern #3)

terror
shiver, shaking
cold and clammy pale skin
fear electrifying
it is just shadows on the wall
panic

(revised)
:hiya!:
by brian55dolphin
Sun Sep 20, 2015 3:53 am
Forum: Cinquain Train
Topic: Haunting (Cinquain pattern #3)
Replies: 3
Views: 1217

Re: Haunting (Cinquain pattern #3)

terror
shiver, shaking
cold and clammy skin
fear electrifying
it is just shadows on the wall
panic

:hiya!:
by brian55dolphin
Sat May 25, 2013 6:07 pm
Forum: THE CRITIQUE WORKSHOP
Topic: In Honor of Service
Replies: 2
Views: 435

In Honor of Service

In Honor of Service (To those who have been there and have no voice) Passing bombed out buildings, my vision veiled in green. The sounds of distant gun fire, completes this eeire scene. I patrol these dusty streets, in the blazing heat of day. And all through out the night, no need to fight I pray. ...
by brian55dolphin
Tue Apr 23, 2013 8:21 pm
Forum: THE CRITIQUE WORKSHOP
Topic: Where Angels Fear to Tread
Replies: 7
Views: 1155

Re: Where Angels Fear to Tread

Thank you for recommending C.E.Chaffin's blog. I found it and C.E. very interesting. Depression took on a whole new meaning for me. I saw and felt through his words the hardship he went (and still is going) through. I can not imagine, on a personel level, what if must be like to experience a mental ...
by brian55dolphin
Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:58 pm
Forum: THE CRITIQUE WORKSHOP
Topic: Invocations
Replies: 2
Views: 469

Re: Invocations

I find this piece interesting. To tell the story of a lonesome man, his boring and tedious life, along with his fatigued horse is full of sadness and is also insightful.
by brian55dolphin
Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:36 pm
Forum: THE CRITIQUE WORKSHOP
Topic: The Storm
Replies: 2
Views: 625

Re: The Storm

This is quite good. But in line four ("are just romantic dreams") I find that nightmares are more of a morbid cherished desire. Though one could see them as romantic of sorts.......... :D
by brian55dolphin
Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:25 pm
Forum: THE CRITIQUE WORKSHOP
Topic: Emulation Evaluation
Replies: 4
Views: 674

Re: Emulation Evaluation

I like this piece. It makes a statement that fantasy is just fantasy and we should leave it at that.
by brian55dolphin
Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:18 pm
Forum: THE CRITIQUE WORKSHOP
Topic: Where Angels Fear to Tread
Replies: 7
Views: 1155

Re: Where Angels Fear to Tread

Sorry, but I rate this piece a "C". I find that this piece is all over the place and does not speak of the content of the title. Sorry!
by brian55dolphin
Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:07 pm
Forum: THE CRITIQUE WORKSHOP
Topic: Metaphysics of Fame
Replies: 2
Views: 563

Re: Metaphysics of Fame

I am sorry but I just do not get it. I do see the begining of three seperate poems which I believe could be insightful and intimate in themsevles.
by brian55dolphin
Sun Apr 21, 2013 12:00 pm
Forum: THE CRITIQUE WORKSHOP
Topic: Shoo Shoshone
Replies: 4
Views: 651

Re: Shoo Shoshone

this was a good piece all except the third line: "he smelled the corn brew from his still". I do not believe Indians had stills, if you are speaking of a time before the 1900's.
by brian55dolphin
Sun Apr 21, 2013 8:44 am
Forum: The House of 30 : A perfect Day 4 Poetry AJFolkart, Allen Itz, Moderators
Topic: XXVII.15 Garden 2
Replies: 8
Views: 523

Re: XXVII.15 Garden 2

very nice work. I like the way you used a Cinquain style in your poetry.
by brian55dolphin
Sat Apr 20, 2013 11:36 pm
Forum: THE CRITIQUE WORKSHOP
Topic: Twilight
Replies: 0
Views: 462

Twilight

Fading from pink to purple to royal blue,
The cloudless blue sky changing hue,
Nightfall is coming oh so slowly,
Sunlight playing the ozone coldly,
Nocturnal darkness follows closely,
Transforming day to evening intimately,
Semidarkness is the time of day,
Twilight ends in a similar way.
by brian55dolphin
Sat Apr 20, 2013 2:06 pm
Forum: Cinquain Train
Topic: Haunting (Cinquain pattern #3)
Replies: 3
Views: 1217

Haunting (Cinquain pattern #3)

Haunting
Ghostly spectre
Otherworldly spirit
A supernatural feeling
Tremble
by brian55dolphin
Sat Apr 20, 2013 1:31 pm
Forum: Cinquain Train
Topic: Water (Cinquain pattern #2)
Replies: 0
Views: 872

Water (Cinquain pattern #2)

Water
Boiled,steamed
Flowing,misting,cooling
Moisten my parched pate
Frozen
by brian55dolphin
Sat Apr 20, 2013 12:45 pm
Forum: Cinquain Train
Topic: Trains (Cinquain pattern #1)
Replies: 1
Views: 1439

Trains (Cinquain pattern #1)

Trains
Iron Horses
Train kept arolling
On steel rails going
Boarding


by James B Barkley

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